


In the End

by ScullysRightEyebrow



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 10:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8369299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScullysRightEyebrow/pseuds/ScullysRightEyebrow
Summary: Scully's cancer returns. Angst ensues.Set in late season 7. No pregnancy, no abduction.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I did this. I'm sorry. 
> 
> If you're reading along with 'The Only Choice,' don't worry, I'll have a new chapter up soon!
> 
> I just got started on Tumblr. Check me out! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/scullys-right-eyebrow-txf

It started simply enough. The headache began the previous week as a dull ache, but steadily progressed to an unrelenting sharp pain in both temples. Scully chalked it up to a migraine, a new occurrence for her, but no over the counter medication she tried could stop the pain for long. As she lay awake next to Mulder, envying his peaceful sleep, she accepted the fact that she would have to go to a doctor to procure some stronger medication. When Mulder awoke the next morning, he had come to the same conclusion. 

“Did you get any sleep?” he asked, brushing back a silky strand of hair from her face, as always enraptured by her early morning effortless beauty. 

“Some,” she replied. “Enough that I shouldn’t fall asleep at the office today. Hopefully.”

Mulder smiled and pulled her close, knowing that they should be readying for work, but all he wanted to do was hold her in this bed, her bed, all day. Their physical relationship was only a few weeks old, and it was still rare for them to stay over on a work night, but Mulder had been unable to leave her the previous evening when she was in such pain. 

During the night as he held her through her pained whimpers, he had worked out an argument as to why she should make an appointment with a doctor, and knowing how stubborn she could be, he was prepared to fight her on it. 

“Hey Scully,” Mulder said, pulling back to look in her eyes, “this has gone too far. I think you need to go to the doctor.”

She sighed in reply. “I know; I’ll try to get an appointment this afternoon.”

“Oh,” he said in surprise at her quick acceptance. “Do you want me to go with you?” 

Scully smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips, “No Mulder, I’m fine.” 

With one last kiss she pulled herself out of the bed to begin her daily routine, trying to ignore the constant throbbing in her temples. They were both ignoring a lot that morning, as they had every morning since her headaches began, because there was no way that anything was really wrong. It had taken them seven years to get over their issues, their fears, their insecurities and finally be together like they each wanted. For the first time in a long time, they were both happy, and though neither had said the words, they were in love. They finally had what they had wanted for so long, and nothing could take that away now. 

*********************

Mulder’s eyes were beginning to hurt. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly, relieved to get some relief from the bright computer screen. He had been so engrossed in his research that he’d lost track of time, and with some surprise he realized that Scully had been gone for over three hours now. He was just reaching for the office phone to call her when his cell phone buzzed in his jacket pocket. 

“Mulder,” he answered. 

“Hey, it’s me,” came her soft reply. 

“Scully, I was just about to call you. Have you finished up at the doctor?”

“Uh, no…I’m umm,” she began, words failing her. 

“Scully, what’s wrong?” he asked, nervousness taking up residence in his stomach. 

“I, uh, I don’t know,” she replied, fear evident in her voice. “I’ve had a CT and then I was sent to Georgetown for a PET scan and I talked to Dr. Henderson’s nurse and she said he wants to see me in an hour and that maybe I should call someone to join me,” she said without taking a breath. 

It felt to Mulder like his heart stopped beating and then all at once it began hammering relentlessly in his chest. Dr. Henderson…Dr. Henderson…Dr. Henderson wanted to see her. Dr. Henderson didn’t want her to be alone. Dr. Henderson, her oncologist. 

“Okay, Scully,” he said, his voice deceivingly steady. “Okay, I’ll, uh, I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” 

*********************

They sat silently in Mulder’s car, still in the hospital parking deck, and neither spoke. Mulder reached out and grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers and clutching onto her firmly like she was his lifeline. He admired how calmly she accepted the news of her cancer’s return. Not only had it returned, but her brain tumor was now larger and more invasive. Scully had asked all the pertinent questions, set up an appointment for the next day to start a treatment plan, and had walked out of the office with her head held high. 

Mulder, on the other hand, was a barely contained mess. His hands shook and his breathing was harsh, his eyes were glassy but thus far he hadn’t let a tear fall, and he wanted to scream. He wanted to scream at the world, at God, for the injustice of it all. She was the kindest, most selfless person he ever met, and she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve any of the misery that she had faced, and he would give anything if he could take it from her. Anything. 

They didn’t know the cause of this new cancer. Had the chip malfunctioned? Were there men somewhere who had orchestrated this? Was it merely a natural occurrence? Mulder was scared, but he resolved to find the answers. 

“What do you want to do, Scully?” he asked, breaking their mutual silence. 

“I want to go back to work,” she answered simply, eyes still staring aimlessly ahead. 

“Scully,” he replied. 

“No, Mulder,” she interrupted. “I’m going to finish my report on the Zimmerman case and you are going to finish your research on werewolves, or whatever it is you were doing. At 5:00 we’ll get some take out and go home, just like always. This doesn’t change that.” 

“Okay,” he said, realizing her need for normalcy. He could do that. He could give that to her for just one more night. 

*******************

Maggie Scully was pleasantly surprised when Dana called to ask if she could stop by for coffee, even more so when she asked if Fox could join them. She was flat out overjoyed when her daughter confirmed that she and her partner were now officially a couple. She had prayed that Dana would find some sort of happiness in her life, and Maggie had long been convinced that only Fox could provide that for her. Now it looked like the two had finally stepped out of their denial and Maggie couldn’t be more thrilled for her daughter. 

It didn’t take long after the heartfelt greetings, Maggie even kissed Fox on the cheek, to realize that something was wrong. She took the news almost as well as her daughter, as strong if not quite as stoically. There were tears on her face, but her arms offered Dana nothing but her strength and quiet resolve. 

“You’re going to be alright, Dana,” Maggie whispered into her only living daughter’s ear, trying desperately to believe her own words. 

“I know, Mom,” Dana replied, her head on her mother’s shoulder. 

In that moment she felt like a child again. She had fallen off her bike and scraped her knee, but her mother’s healing hands and embrace would make everything okay. It always did. 

********************************

The chemo was worse this time around. Due to the growth of the tumor, her treatments were more often and in larger doses than they were previously. Maggie stayed with her at the hospital during the day as she received the treatments while Mulder worked tirelessly at the office and in the field searching for some kind of lead, some kind of answer. At night he would take her home where he would try to convince her to eat something, he would wrap her in blankets when she shivered, wipe her skin with cold cloths when she sweated, and pull back her hair when she got sick. He held her through her fitful sleep and prayed to a God that he didn’t entirely believe in to save her, to give her some relief. 

Those two weeks of the first cycle of her chemo was among the worst of his life, but as usual, she was handling it like a champ. Since the news, he still hadn’t seen her cry. He assumed that she had at some point, in the privacy of her bathroom or maybe with her mother, but she hadn’t let him see it. 

Not until an especially bad night after a long day of treatment nearing the end of the cycle. She was too weak to walk on her own, losing ten pounds in less than two weeks on an already slight frame would do that to someone, and Mulder was helping her out of the bathtub. He knew that she felt like an invalid, having someone literally help her bathe, but he of course had been happy to do it. He would do anything that she needed him to do. 

He dried her off and then wrapped her in her fluffiest robe. As he began to tie the belt, she pushed his hands away. 

“I can do it, Mulder,” she muttered, swaying on her feet slightly. 

“I’ve got it,” he replied, tying her robe shut and half carrying her to the bed.

She sat on the edge, eyes staring off in space. Mulder knew that something was on her mind and simply sat beside her, waiting for her to be ready to talk. 

“I know you didn’t sign up for this,” she finally spoke. 

“What?” he asked incredulously. 

“When we started sleeping together, I know that this isn’t what you had in mind; that this isn’t why you imagined you’d be staying over every night,” she said bitterly. 

“Scully, I’d be taking care of you even if we weren’t sleeping together. You know that.”

“Why?” she asked, her voice wavering, finally turning her sad eyes on him.

“You know why,” he replied. “Because that’s what we do. We take care of each other. Because you’re my partner, you’re my best friend. Because I love you, and I always have.” 

A sharp sob escaped from Scully’s throat. She knew, of course she knew, but neither had ever said the words. A tear ran down her face and it was the prelude for many more. The tears fell uninhibited as Mulder pulled her into his arms. 

“Why is this happening?” she asked between her sobs. “Why now?”

“I don’t know,” he answered hoarsely, his own tears mixing with hers as he buried his face into her neck. “I don’t know.” 

They both cried themselves to sleep that night. 

***************************

With the end of chemo, Scully received a burst of energy. She wanted to return to work, but Mulder and Skinner conspired to talk her out of it. Instead she continued to spend her days with her mother; they went for walks, worked in her garden, went out for lunch, and watched bad soap operas together. Mulder continued to stay over and they made love every night with a renewed vigor. 

Those days were encouraging, but they all knew that it couldn’t last. Her scans showed no change, so Scully was scheduled for a second cycle of chemotherapy, but in the days leading up to her chemo, she decided that she would not live in dread of the treatment ahead. 

Instead, she and Mulder took a weekend trip to the coast. They ate lots of seafood, had lots of sex, and simply enjoyed spending time together. At times, they even forgot that she was sick. 

*******************************

The next cycle of chemo came and went, as unbearable as the last, and there was still no change. Actually there was a change, the tumor had begun to spread to other parts of her brain and was closing in on her spine. Scully and her doctors agreed that the next step should be radiation treatment. 

As Scully’s condition worsened, Mulder’s quest was becoming more desperate. There was still no answer to the source of her illness, and Mulder’s leads amounted to naught. Even with the Gunmen’s help, there was nothing. But he didn’t stop looking, exhausting every source he had; even to the point that he hadn’t left their basement office in forty eight hours. Scully had been admitted to the hospital for her treatment so he knew she was safe, and he was using the time to continue his search. 

He had fallen asleep with his head on his desk when the ringing phone jolted him into consciousness. 

“Mulder,” he answered, praying that it was one of his sources with information about the chip. 

“It’s me,” she answered, her voice weak. 

“Scully,” he sighed. “How are you?” 

“Mulder, what are you doing?” she asked, her exhaustion evident. 

“I’m working, Scully. I’ve been in contact with MUFON and…”

“Stop,” she interrupted. “I need you to stop.”

“Scully,” he began, but she wouldn’t let him continue.

“No, you don’t understand. I haven’t even seen you in two days. It’s time for you to stop this. I need you here with me,” she told him firmly. 

“No Scully, I can’t give up, I won’t,” he told her emphatically. 

“Mulder,” she croaked, and he could hear that she was clearly crying, “I need you with me.” 

He dropped his head into his hands. So this is it? She wants him to stop? She’s resigned herself to her fate? Silent tears ran down his face. If he left this office was he giving up? Was he only going to her to watch her die? He didn’t know the answer to any of these questions, all he knew was that she needed him. 

“I’ll be right there.” 

*****************************

The last time they make love is so very different from the first time. That night had been frantic and desperate and endless and Scully came three times. This time was slow and careful and gentle and despite Mulder’s best efforts, she couldn’t even manage one orgasm. 

“I’m sorry,” Mulder panted as he cautiously rolled off her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she assured him, hugging his head to her chest. “I didn’t think it would happen, but it was still good. I just needed to feel you inside me. I just needed to feel you.” 

There were tears leaking out of her closed eyes, running down to the pillow below her head, and Mulder gently kissed them away. He nuzzled his nose into her cheek, taking in the essence of Scully, as his arms clutched her naked body tightly to his. 

“I love you,” she whispered, a content smile on her face as she drifted off to sleep. 

*****************************

“You know what I want to do?” Scully asked from her place on the bed as she watched Mulder fold their laundry. 

“What?” he replied, making sure he was folding her pajamas with neat, crisp corners, just like she liked. 

“I want us to go on a date,” she said with a smile. “We’ve never been on an actual date.” 

He smiled back, trying to hide his sadness. She hadn’t left her apartment in four days, and even then it was just to go to the doctor. There was no more chemo, no more radiation, no clinical trials, no experimental drugs. All that was left was to make her comfortable in her last weeks, last days. 

“It would be good for you to get out of the house,” he replied. “What are you thinking?” 

“Picnic in the park,” she answered immediately. Obviously she had been thinking about it. 

As usual, her wish was his command and the next day he drove her to one of her favorite spots. With both a view of the Potomac and the Washington Monument in the distance, it was the ideal location for an early fall picnic. Mulder had gone all out, getting dishes from three of her favorite restaurants along with an expensive bottle of her preferred wine. He laid the food and blanket out under a picturesque Magnolia tree before retrieving her from the car and settling her down in the shade. 

It was a balmy seventy degrees out, but Scully still shivered when a breeze hit her. Mulder wrapped a throw around her shoulders and sat her up against his chest for support. She smiled as she tasted each dish, feeding Mulder bites off her fork as well. They both knew that she couldn’t eat much, but luckily her sense of taste had returned after the chemo, so she savored each bite. He also surprised her with a huge chocolate confection from one of DC’s most lavish restaurants, causing Scully to actually squeal in delight. 

They drank the wine as the sun set, and it didn’t take many sips for Scully to feel a comfortable buzz overtake her. Between the alcohol and her constant exhaustion, she was unable to keep her eyes open. She rested back against Mulder, relaxed and safe in his embrace, and she felt so loved, so cherished. 

“Thanks for today,” she mumbled into his neck, burrowing deeper. 

He kissed her temple in reply and held her tighter, watching the sun disappear as she dozed in his arms. 

It was their first date, and it was their last date. 

********************************

Scully wanted a fire in the fireplace, so despite the fact that it was still rather warm outside, Mulder built a fire. He made hot chocolate and inexplicably played a CD full of Christmas music. 

“What are you doing?” Scully asked with a laugh from where she lounged on the couch. “It’s October.” 

“I don’t know, I’m just in a holiday mood,” he replied joining her on the couch and covering her with a blanket. She settled down against him as they watched the flickering of the flames. They both knew that she wouldn’t see another Christmas. 

“You okay?” he asked into her hair. 

“Yeah, just tired,” she replied. “But this is nice.” 

“It is. Sleep if you need to.” 

The medication that she took to manage her pain made her drowsy, and to her chagrin it was hard for her to stay awake for even a couple of hours at a time. 

“I don’t want to sleep,” she replied. “I want to be here with you.”

“You are here with me,” he said. 

Scully kissed his jaw and with all the strength she had, pulled herself to a sitting position so she could look into his eyes. Something had been weighing on her and she knew it was time to broach the subject, before it was too late. 

“Mulder,” she said, running her hands down his face, past his questioning eyes, “I need to know something.” 

“Anything,” he answered, capturing her hand against his cheek. 

She blinked back tears. “I need to know that you’re going to be alright after I’m gone. I need to know that you’ll be okay.” 

“Scully, don’t do this,” he replied softly, unable to look her in the eyes. 

“I have to do this. I have to know that you’re not going to do anything crazy. That you’re not going to become reckless. Well, at least not more reckless than you already are. I need to know that you’ll be there for my mom. She’ll need you. You can take care of each other. Please Mulder, promise me that you’ll be okay.” 

The tears were flowing openly from both of them now. They knew it was coming, but this was the first time that they spoke honestly about her death. Mulder dug the heel of his hands into his eyes; he didn’t want her to see him like this. He wanted to be strong for her. He didn’t want her to see his heart breaking. He didn’t want Scully to know that losing her meant losing himself as well. 

But as he dropped his hands from his eyes and took in the sight of her, beautiful in her sorrow, he knew that he had to try. He had to try to be okay. He had to try to live. That was all that she asked of him, and he couldn’t deny her. 

“I’ll be okay, Scully,” he sobbed, his fingers gripping her neck to pull her forehead against his own. “I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay,” he said like a mantra. “I’ll take care of your mom and we’ll be alright.” 

“I love you,” she sobbed, kissing him with all the passion left in her. 

“I love you, too,” he answered against her lips. 

******************************

Scully only awakened for short periods of time by this point. The hospital sent nurses to her home every day to make sure she was comfortable, but they were all just waiting. Mulder and Maggie had been told that it could happen at any time. One consolation was that she remained lucid in the minutes that she was awake. It was a small comfort, but it was something. 

Mulder was tired. He was afraid to sleep. Afraid to spend one moment away from her. He would sleep later; he would sleep when he no longer had a reason to stay awake. 

He was in the kitchen brewing a pot of coffee when he heard Maggie’s voice call to him from the bedroom. “She’s awake,” she said breathlessly.

Mulder hurried into the room to see Scully’s half open eyes searching for him. 

“Hey,” he said with a smile, clutching her hand and stretching out beside her on the bed. Maggie sat in a chair on the opposite side, grasping her daughter’s other hand. 

“Mom,” Scully whispered as her mother kissed her forehead. 

“Hey, baby,” Maggie replied, stroking her face. 

Scully closed her eyes and took a labored breath. 

“Do you need anything, Scully?” Mulder asked, wrapping his arm around her. 

“No, but you look exhausted,” she replied slowly and with obvious effort. 

He laughed. “And as usual you can see right through me.” 

She smiled and turned to Maggie. 

“You okay, Mom?” 

“Yeah, Dana. I’m fine,” her mother smiled, squeezing her hand. 

“I love you, Mom,” she whispered. 

Maggie gave her a small, watery smile. “I love you too, my child.” 

Scully turned her head to Mulder. “I’m tired, Mulder,” she said, nuzzling her forehead against his. 

He kissed her lips softly. “It’s okay, Scully. You can sleep. We’ll be right here.” 

“See you in the morning?” she asked, her eyes beginning to flutter closed. 

“Yeah, Scully, I’ll see you in the morning,” he answered with a trembling voice as her eyes shut and for the last time, sleep overtook her. 

********************

It started simply enough. 

A new assignment. 

A knock on a basement door. 

An introduction and handshake. 

Where it would end: friendship, family, and a love that knew no bounds; neither of them could have ever predicted. 

The End


End file.
